Fall Daze and Motivation

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When the cold air chills, it is time to reflect.

I think about what I’ve done, and what I want to accomplish.

Here, 2 years ago, I was in Japan working and planning a life as a writer.

Due to reality, I have to merge my lifelong passion with teaching.

Don’t get me wrong, teaching is a lifelong passion of mine too.

Yet, I’ve done so much in terms of teaching and working with children.

Writing has always taken a back seat, and I can’t stand it!

Balancing life with two big goals is tough, but I must do what is best in the long run.

Progress

I completed all four of my tests for teaching, and applied to a college to complete some classes.

Now I wait while my application is in the wind.

I also applied for a few jobs. I do plan on applying for more jobs in other districts.

With this part of my life at a decent standstill, I now look towards my other passion, writing…

It is not easy to stay motivated.

I know I know, what is up with your writing!

I have to admit that I am a bit scatterbrain with many of my posts.

The idea is for you to look at these personal posts as an opening into my mind, my personal journal if you will.

It’s not polished, is what I’m basically trying to say.

So, about my motivation with writing…

I find it harder to stay with it than when I was in Japan.

You see, in Japan I worked from 10:30am to 7:30pm. I had zero energy during my work days.

On Saturday nights, I often slept around 1 or 2 in the morning after hanging out with friends, or washing my clothes. So by Sunday, I had personal time.

It’s really funny that, as tired as I was, and as much as I wanted to rest on my days off, I did the most work.

I would write for hours on Sundays, in a public cafe!

However, the time had nothing to do with my motivation, it was my mindset.

You see, as tired as I was, and as much as I didn’t like some aspects of my job in Japan, I was really happy.

Happy to be in Japan! Happy to be a classroom teacher, happy to have a social life and actual friends, happy to go out and meet people, even date (although I was always friend zoned :/ ).

Overall, I was really at peace.

Now that I am in America, I don’t have any of those things, and quite honestly, it disturbs my calm.

It makes it hard to get out of bed. I have way more days off than before due to my current job, and I still don’t write.

It is a rut I hope can just end.

I wish I could just say “be inspired dummy and go for your dream of writing!” but if you’ve ever dealt with anyone with certain mental illnesses, then you know it is a lot harder than just believing you can do it. You have to feel it inside out.

What I’m trying to say is that I feel like I’m in a daze. I have aspirations, but in my current mental state, I just can’t seem to shake off this sad feeling. It’s a heavy feeling. One that seems to keep me from doing too much.

Believe me, I am trying not to go in full despair mode! I am actively getting closer to getting my teaching certification. It’s just, with all my sad feelings, doing all of these tests, and preparations for my teaching cert., I just don’t have enough “energy” for anything else.

Have you ever felt this way?

Anywho, I hope a meditation app helps. I can’t really talk to others, they don’t seem to get it.

That’s ok, it’s my burden anyway.

I just hope that with a new job, it can give me some of what made me happy when I was in Japan. I’ll wait and see about that. Oh, and I’ll of course keep you posted.

Until then…

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A Space Tale and Inspiration…

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Hello Groovy People,

It has been a while since I made my last entry.  I have been busy of sorts with taking tests, teaching origami, and resting.

I have great news, I have passed two of my tests and I have two more to go!

That is not why I write this entry today.

I have been going back and forth for over a decade with my space book.  It was something that was inspired by two very different things:

  1. Joss Wedon’s Serenity
  2. Foo Fighters album The Colour and Shape

I know what you’re thinking, how can a Foo Fighters album influence a story?  Well, when I listen to music I often imagine people, places, and situations.  It can be a love story or an action fight scene that plays out in my head.

The album I mentioned was bought while I was in high school over 15 years ago.  I only bought it for one song, Everlong.  However, during a trip to Six Flags Great Adventure, I had the entire album play as I sulked; I was 19 at that time and hated going to an amusement park.

Luckily for me, hearing that album play gave me an idea of a space tale that centered around two cheeky girls, and a hell of a lot of intergalactic adventures.

Of course, years went by and I scraped most of what I had.  I had finished the entire book, but it was so unfocused that the abrupt end was confusing even to myself.

I decided to reboot it of sorts like I did with Journey’s End.  I must say that it is much better with a more fleshed out story.  I am nowhere near finished, but I’ll keep you updated!

Until then…

November is here! Reflection…

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Hello Groovy People

It is finally November and the weather is becoming cooler.  This global warming is no joke.  Anywho, I am still writing and thinking about joining more writing competitions.  It is hard sometimes to keep at it, especially when I become exhausted physically and mentally due to my inner demons.  Yet I will prevail!

I do try to read every night and do positive affirmations in the morning and night.  I find that this helps me stay calm throughout the day and not overreact to stressful situations. Thinking about myself positively is hard, but I do try.  I think I’ll make an entire post about self love.  I’m still learning it, even at 29, so bear with me.  But all is well.

Until then…

Anthology! Back to my short story roots

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Hello Groovy People,

So in a previous post I mentioned I’m working on an anthology.  I didn’t go into it too much as I was going to make a separate post.  So here it is!

I have so many ideas for stories in my head and making books takes a really long time, usually years!  So instead of doing 5 stand alone books, I thought I’d put them all in one, and shorten them a bit.

Each short story is its own story and does not relate to one another.  They are all their own genre too.  The first is a literary fiction/drama, the second is science fiction, the third is a romance, the fourth is an action/adventure, and the last is horror.  I thought I’d try for genre specific stories with these short stories as a way to try out different things.  Usually I write literary fiction without a clear genre.  So I am excited and curious how I’ll do.  I would say it shouldn’t take long to do these stories, but I am working full time and writing another book.

I’ll update as I go along so stay tuned!  Until then…

Back to Basics

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Hello Groovy People!

I am continuing to write even though I am super busy.  Besides working non stop, reading 2 books at the same time, and getting ready for Indie Author Day, I am writing 2 different books.

The first is an anthology that will be a collection of 5 different stories ranging from romance, sci-fi, horror, and drama to name a few.  I am also working on a science fiction book about space travels and stuff.  I am super duper excited and feel really inspired.

I also have a ton of energy, but despite that, I still have issues I am dealing with.  Having depression is like walking with sand bags on you non stop.  Even when you try to ignore it and “move on” it just weighs you down.

I am trying to deal with it and accomplish my crazy amount of goals by doing positive affirmations and yoga.  I think I’ll do a separate post about that.  (Knock on wood) I feel it’s working for now.

But just to check in, I am really happy about my creativity surge I’m feeling, so hope to bring you guys more great stuff soon.

P.S. I am also working on a children’s book LOL Yea I am quite the ambitious goal setter.

Until then…

Journey’s End available on Barnes and Noble Website!

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Hello Groovy People!

I am so excited to announce that my book is now on the Barnes and Noble website!  So there are three big places you can purchase your copy.  Click on the link below and enjoy!

Barnes and Noble Website!

 

Back to Writing!

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Hello Groovy People,

Although I felt sluggish today, I have a surge of energy.  I recently started working on an anthology.  At least, perhaps it’s just a bundle of short stories.  Not sure how they can all connect to each other, but whatever, I’m back at writing.  I don’t like getting lazy after working on a book and publishing.  After Amazons of the Myst, I took a 4 year hiatus.  I think writing is something that I just have to do.  If I get too lazy and don’t write, years will go by.  For now I’m feeling pretty good and hope that this “anthology” or whatever it is will keep up the pace.  I’ll let you know more about it in another post.

Until then…